is it because i really want to forget, or is it i really don’t care. I think it’s that. I think i truly know what my heart thinks when i try to run my life without God. I think my heart is a fickle pickle. Yeah, my heart really doesn’t know what it wants to do, and i think that sometimes affects me. But it usually doesn’t, because I know what i want to do, and i have a plan. But i can see it working soemthings. Like yesterday. I forgot to send out the e-mail for drama team practice on saturday, because my internet was down that time, and it didn’t really come on until monday. And Iwas thinking about whether to send the e-mail on monday to gary, who would send it out to everyone, or should i just hope that people knew that itwas every week. =). So I guessed wrong, and nobody showed up to drama practice. So i was sitting there, and Chris saw me watching tv and asked me where everyone was, and i said. I forgot to tell them. And because i did, i will suffer the consequences. I’m going to take it like a man. I’m going to critiize myself for being lazy, and a weak leader. So now i will go sit in the corner, and fix my problem.
I truly think i’m a weak leader. I don’t speak out, I sit around and let things go by that i can see I could change. And I really like to live an easy life. So that’s my goal. I will figure out how to buckle down, and become more focal. I think i can lead by example, but i need to make myself lead more by speaking. Becuase not everyone is observant or need more motivation then just watching my actions.
Ahhh, i feel so much better now. Taht i have it off my chest. I will go take a nap, and start studying for my CE midterm in a little bit.
I have a fly on my screen, and it’s not moving. I walked really close to the window also, and it is just hanging around on the outside. So i’m going to poke it right now, and hope it falls off. … Nope it didn’t fall off, but it was hanging on 2 legs and then i pushed it again, and it flew off.
So i was eating dinner last night. And the worst feeling is when your tongue is burnt and you start eating, andbecause you can’t taste anything with your tongue the food tastes nasty, because it stings your numb tongue and tastes bitter. I think my tongue still is trying to regrow the tastebuds i brunt off with my hot soup.